Indian Restuarant

Going to USA is a thing that excites and frightens lots of Indians. It is proverbial Mecca of opportunities but most Indians are worried about the so called bohemian life style, the eating habits and the fact paced life. 

A suddh (ultra pure) Brahmin boy had gone to the USA to do his MS. This boy came from a family of Acharyas (a sect of pujaris who are the temple Brahmins). These Brahmins are very particular about madi (a ritual where the food is prepared after taking a bath and the lady of the house will not touch anyone when she is preparing the food).

The poor boy’s worst night mares came true. He was suffering as there is nothing that is pure vegetarian in the USA. Even vegetarian noodles will have a omlette on the top. Our boy was suffering. He was surviving on bread alone. One day he was travelling by the Greyhound bus and he saw a sign that made his heart sing. The sign said “Indian restaurant”. The boy rushed in.

What he finds inside turned his insides out. The restaurant had a huge steak which was being roasted. The restaurant was full of Americans and had a fair sprinkling of Native Americans who were having beer and beef streak. The Brahmin boy almost fainted. He staggered out of the restaurant.

Later a friend of his at the university explained him what the sign meant. “Indian restaurant” means a restaurant that is managed by the Native Americans. The Native Americans are called Indians in USA. The Brahmin boy was confused as the local population is called Indians and the Native Americans are referred as red Indians. This created such confusion that the poor Brahmin almost gave up eating altogether.

Sambar meal

This incident was recited by Mr. Siraj Taher the President of Hyderabad Bird watchers society. Mr. Siraj Taher is an avid bird watcher and a wild life enthusiast. A relative of Siraj was visiting Hyderabad. He was tired of the vegetarian food that was being served to him. 

While he was travelling he found a sign ‘Sambar served here”. Excitedly our man goes inside and orders Sambar. The waiter was puzzled “what will you have the Sambar with?” “Oh only the Sambar, please” “But sir how can you have only Sambar? What about the main dish?” said the puzzled waiter. “Thanks you but I want only the Sambar”. The waiter went inside and bought a bowl full of Sambar (a sort of soup or watery dal that is consumed along with rice and idlis).

The bewildered relative of Siraj looked all around and said “where is the Sambar?” “Sir, this is Sambar”. “But I don’t see any meat pieces” “Why will you see meat? This is a pure vegetarian restaurant”

Intervention by knowledgeable people saved the day. The relative was thinking that Sambar meant the deer that is found in India. In the north India the deer are called Sambar and the poor man thought that the hotel was serving deer meat. The fact of the matter was the hotel has a sign which said “Idly and Sambar served here” but the idly part was not visible and that created the confusion.

Best short story on the BBC

The Smart Detective

 Short story is a very powerful way of narrating a tale. The tale has to be gripping and the effect should not be lost on the readers. Let me narrate a story that was chosen as one of the best short stories ever written and it was narrated on the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation).

This particular story was selected as the best among the many short stories that were sent to BBC as a part of a contest. The short story is titled “the smart detective”.

This story is about a famous and a clever criminal. Let us call him Anderson. Anderson is a master con artiste. He is a charmer and is notorious at swindling people. He is on the run. He is being chased by a detective from the world famous crime detection centre in the world – the Scotland Yard. The detective's name is Richardson.

Richardson is chasing Anderson all over England. But catching Anderson was a very elusive task. He appears to be in the grasp of Richardson but manages to slip out at the last minute. Richardson was getting frustrated. He had to catch Anderson before he could slip out of England.

Finally Richardson traces Anderson to a water front. Anderson was planning to board a ship to go to France. The situation was desperate and called for a drastic action. Bu there was a problem. Richardson did not have a photograph of the criminal. He has to be doubly sure before an arrest could be made. A false arrest could lead to a very embarrassing situation for the Scotland Yard and might result in a libel action.

Anderson was at a stationery shop. Richardson who was in his civics (Civics means being in civilian dress i.e he was not wearing his uniform) had a brain wave. He slides up to Anderson, takes out his Parker pen and requests Anderson to try out the pen. He tells him that the pen  was not working and says “check it out”. Anderson writes something on a paper and immediately Richardson arrests the criminal.

How did Richardson get the confidence that he had his man? The solution is very simple. Most people are narcissistic and would love to write about themselves given the smallest opportunity. Like all of us Anderson when presented with an opportunity signed his own name. And luckily Richardson had the signature of Anderson and he affected an arrest.

Once a thief always a thief - a touching short story

Keeping to the topic of best stories let us look at a story “Once a thief always a thief”. This story was recited to me by my father. It is a story of a very wealthy man David who was shopping in the market. He was very  excited as the next day was his daughter’s 5^th birthday. He was overjoyed.

Suddenly a voice hailed him. He turned around and was stunned to see his child hood friend Samuel. There was a lump in his throat. It was not a happy sight as his friend was a criminal par excellence. He was crème de la crème. He was so cunning that everyone knew him as a criminal but he went scot free as there was no proof of any wrong doing. 

Samuel was very excited “My friends, long time no see. What are you doing here?” “Shopping” was the sullen answer. “That is very interesting; you have lots of birthday material with you. Any one celebrating a birthday in your house?”

“My daughter’s birthday” was the cautious response from David.

“How very exciting, are you not going to call me?’ enquired Samuel

If you want to come, you can”

Thumping his friend on his back Samuel replied “you bet I will”.

David returned home. He was worried. He had called many of his influential friends. He did not want Samuel to come and spoil the party for very one. The next day was a day to remember. It was a most festive party the city had witnessed in years. The party was in full swing and suddenly a collective gasp went up in the audience.

Walking nonchalantly and without a care in the world was Samuel the con man. He hailed David and sat next to him. He made a light conversation and was ignoring the dirty and curious looks that the others were giving him.

The party was progressing when David’s daughter suddenly appeared “look DAD” She exclaimed “mummy gave me the only gold coin in the world that is very unique. It has three faces instead of the usual two. Mummy told me that it is the only such coin in the world. She told me it was invaluable”. This stirred up the entire crowd. There were “let me have a look” requests everywhere. The coin started changing hands.

David’s daughter returned after some time “Dad where is my coin?”David looked around. The coin was nowhere to be found. A frantic search was futile. The coin was either lost or stolen. The needle of suspicion turned towards Samuel who was sagely munching his food.

“What a cheek!” everyone thought, “see his cool”, “he should be flogged” murmurs went round the crowd. Sensing the crowd turning violent, David made appeal. “Friends I don’t want this party to be spoiled. I have a proposal. As all the people here are gentlemen, let us prove ourselves by subjecting ourselves to a body search, so that we will be relieved of the burden of suspicion. Any objections?”

“Yes I do have an objections” piped in Samuel” You can’t insult me by subjecting me to a body search. I am a guest not a criminal”

The crowd was stunned. The party was thoroughly spoiled. All the guests took their leave with a heavy heart. Only David and Samuel were left. David was seething in anger. It was his aristocratic upbringing that stopped his from handing over Samuel to the cops.

The maids were cleaning the plates and suddenly they found the COIN. It was brought to the notice of David. David was surprised "friend, the COIN was found. Why is that you objected to the search? Why did you make yourself the object of such ridicule and scorn?”

Samuel slowly got up. He took out another coin from his pocket. It was the exact replica of the coin that was found "David your wife was wrong. There are TWO such coins in the world. One was with your wife’s family as a family heirloom and the others as with me. I came to the party to gift the second coin to your daughter. Here it is, take it. ONCE A THEIF, ALWAYS A THIEF” Saying thus he slowly walked out of life of David.

Best seat in the world - A study in human behaviour

The story is a study in human behavior. After the Second World War the super powers had realized the futility of atom and nuclear bombs. The bombs were very effective but create a monster that was very difficult to reign in. The damages are very high both for humans and the environment. The effects of a nuclear bomb are felt for more than 30 years. The effects of radiation not only affect the bombed country but the surrounding countries too.

The super powers have come out with a new bomb. It was called a neutron bomb. Neutral bona is a deadly new bomb. When deployed it kills all the animal form but does not create any other damage. There is no radiation. There is no problem of any damage to the country’s infrastructure. The invading country can come in and occupy the bombed country at leisure. But there is a catch; they will have to wait for some time till the carcasses of dead animals get rotted away.

Once in a fit of anger one super power deployed the neutron bomb on another country. It had a huge impact. Planes crashed, trains ran off rails, there were massive traffic jams and there were major accidents and all animal life in that country was wiped out. It is the scene that was too frightening even to fathom.

Except for some mosquitoes and a few rats everything else was rotting. The roads had become unwalkable. There was no chirping of birds, no movement. It was a country of the ghosts. But like all strange things in life ONE MAN survived. He got out of coma after 10 days and could not believe what was happening around him. There was plenty of food but it was rotting. There was no electricity, no safe drinking water and absolutely no civil order or society.

No one was visible on the roads, no newspapers, no TV and radio and there was a deafening silence. Our man was getting mad. There was no one to talk and nothing to do. To keep himself sane he started taking long walks. The walks were drab and uninteresting but they helped him stay alive.

Our man got into a pattern of behavior. He went to the same park; it was an apology of a park. It has rotting trees and the park had a terrible stench – the stench of death. Our man always sat at the same bench. It was a very huge park and it had many benches but our man always sat on the same bench.

Three months passed this way and after three months when he was sitting on his bench he saw a sight that made his heart leap into his mouth. It was a sight of a very ragged man slowly walking towards him. He too had obviously survived the holocaust. As far our man was concerned they were the only two living people in the entire country.

The other man slowly walked to our man and said in a faltering voice “Excuse me you are sitting on my favorite bench.  Please vacate it at once please”

Gandhiji and frugality

Gandhiji was known to be a frugal person. He was fond of recycling things. Many of the letters that were written by Gandhiji were written on the backside if the letter were written on one side and even in the margins. He strongly believed one unit of paper saved is one unit of paper generated.

One anglophile had written a stinker of  petition to Gandhiji. He presented the letter with a flourish to Gandhiji. He was of the opinion that India was better off under the British . He was insinuating that India cannot be ruled by its own people.

Gandhiji quietly read the entire letter without changing his expression. He calmly threw the petition into the waste paper basket. The Englishman was aghast. He said “ Mr. Gandhi   I have spent lot of time on that petition. Don’t tell me that you did not find anything useful”.

Gandhiji calmly replied “True, there is nothing of value in your petition. But on searching I found something of value even in your petition”. Smilingly Gandhiji took out a pin that was used to hold the paper and showed it to the speechless Englishman.