Worst advertisements

There are lots of advertisements that come to the mind as being very silly and banal. They are so bad that they become classics in their own way. People remember them. Sangeet Cinema at Secunderabad, India was a place for English movie buffs. Sangeet cinema was known for its ambience, superb sound system and its USP was a hep, light colored, desi phirang crowd. In short it was the happening place in the 80s and the 90s.

Visitors at Sangeet cinema eagerly looked forward for the film trailers and some ad films that were played before the movie itself. One of the most memorable ad films was one that was promoting ‘Prince Phenyl”. A harassed looking lady (albeit well dressed) is shown sweeping, mopping and scrubbing the house. She is tired and is perspiring heavily. Her husband comes home. The lady resignedly goes inside the house gets a brown liquid in a cup and hands it to her husband.

Her husband takes a sip and his face breaks into a huge grin. He says in Telugu ‘Prince Phenyl entha manchi Phenyl”. Translated it means “Prince Phenyl is very good”. The entire theatre roars in laughter. The antics of Jackie Chan himself would not have elicited such a response. Was the husband drinking Phenyl or was it poor editing or poor screen play? It was anybody’s guess.

Two classics that David Ogilvy would have watched with his mouth open were done for “Vilan underwear and garments”. A buxom lady in distress at a sea shore. A group of miscreants are harassing the fair lady. She screams out in agony. Lo and behold the hero appears. He trashes the villains. The heroine flutters her very elaborate false eyelashes at the hero. Love blossoms. They link their arms together. Presto! out of their clasped hands appears an underwear “Vilan underwear and garments, VILAN, VILAN, VILAN,” The entire auditorium is echoing with VILAN and the crowd is hooting, cheering, whistling, clapping and shouting. Who says that people do not appreciate mediocrity? At Sangeet we used to love it.

Another gem from Vilan. A group of well muscled hunks appear in three piece suits. They appear to be very self conscious. Our Hunks from Hyderabad walk majestically and occupy the entire screen. Voice over booms and the visual comes on “the secret of a well dressed man”. The shot is cut. The next shot shows our hunks cowering. The reason - they are magically stripped to their undies. White cotton Vilan banians and white cotton V shaped Vilan vests. Every one at Sangeet was enlightened. One can wear a suit from “John tailors or Reliance tailors" but without Vilan it amounted to nothing. What a Gyan!

National level agencies too have goofed it up. An ad film of Birla Automatic generator set says “Bull dog protection”. What is wrong in it ? The copy says bull dog but the visual is of a boxer. Any dog lover would say the difference between a bull dog and a boxer is the same as the difference between Aishwarya Rai and Kalpana Rai. Wake up my friends in advertising. An ad film is a regular movie but the story has to be told in a minute. Our role model should be Piyush Pandey who crafted memorable campaigns for Feviquick. Classics that stand the test of time. Hats off to you Piyush.