Washing dirty linen in public – How not to deal with your Human Resources! - Virat Kohli vs BCCI

 

” Common Sense is not common”, I often comment in my classroom. The unfolding saga of Virat Kohli vs Saurav Ganguly Vs BCCI vs Azharuddin vs Sunil Gavaskar vs every other Indian has left me bemused and perplexed, to say the least.

First let us put things in perspective. Whether we like it or not Virat Kohli is a superstar cricketer. His popularity is phenomenal, only second to Sachin Tendulkar and his records speak for themselves. His captaincy record has been outstanding and his win percentage too has been good. His only blemish, not winning any ICC championships.

But why blame him? Even the great Sachin Tendulkar was not a great captain. We were lucky to have a Dhoni who did so well in ICC championships. But to hound and play the fool with Virat Kohli is not done at all.

First of all, Saurav Ganguly says that he asked Virat Kohli to reconsider his decision to give up T20I captaincy. Immediately Virat Kohli says that there was no such communication to him and that the decision to relieve him of ODI captaincy was conveyed only 90 minutes before the selection committee meeting.

Fine, BCCI. Why can’t you have all these discussions in-camera. Why do you need to wash your dirty linen in public? Then suddenly Rohit Sharma becomes injured and will not play test matches. On cue Virat Kohli says that it is his daughter’s birthday in January 2022 and that he would not play in the ODI series against south Africa.

Katti or tit for tat. BCCI has become the laughing stock of the world. And the comedy has yet not ended, Virat Kohli now says that he is available to play the Odo series against South Africa. One thing that BCCI has to realize is that Virat Kohli is a big draw and a superstar cricketer. It is better to deal with him with butter gloves.

BCCI is known to grovel before superstars. They had to humour Kapil Dev till he reached 432 wickets and had to put up with Sachin Tendulkar till he got 100 international hundreds and played 200 test matches.

I am sure that BCCI will placate Virat Kohli too. Why in the world would BCCI want to kill its golden goose! A goose that lays eggs worth crores of rupees!

Heart attack Grill – Anti- Marketing at its best!

 

In the world that we live in everything is available on a tap. Information is so much in excess that people are jaded and experiences are no longer treasured. Attention spans are incredibly low and are down to 8 seconds for the Generation Z.

 

So, what should a marketer do? Normal Marketing will not work. What customers want is a shock, that too a 1000-volt shock, that should jolt them, almost to death!

 

Almost on cue we have Heart attack Grill, a restaurant from Los Vegas, USA. Jon Basso the owner has created a controversy and built a restaurant around and named it Heart attack Grill. Savour some of the unusual things that happen at Heart Attack Grill that would pop our eye-balls out of their sockets,

 

1)          Name itself a big shocker Heart Attack Grill – Challenges the customers!

 

2)     The normal offering is a 9,982 Quadruple Bypass burger (almost 4 days calorie requirement for an average man) and French fries cooked in fat, Jon Basso himself says "Don't come here every day of the week; it'll kill you,'" How many owners dare say “don’t come every day to my business/shop””.

3)         The Owner calls himself a doctor, all male employees are called doctors and all female employees are called nurses who dress seductively and appear to be girls out of an adult magazine. The restaurant ambience is that of an hospital!

4)            All the customers have to wear a hospital gown before they start eating food. 

5)            Customers are called patients.

6)            The nurses are loved and are a huge attraction for the customers.

 

7)            Any one not finishing the food is spanked on the back side with a wooden paddle by the “nurses”.

8)       Payments are strictly cash only. (What is the guarantee that the customer would survive the meal. What if he/she dies before the cheque is realized).

 

9)       Patrons weighing more than 350 pounds (160 kgs) eat free! They have to stand on a weighing scale that flashes their weight on a huge screen!

 

10)       Heart Attack Grill’s tag line is "taste worth dying for," 

 

11)    Nothing healthy is allowed, no lettuce on the Grill's burgers. No Diet Coke, only full-sugared soda is sold.

 

12)    The nurses wheel out "patients" who are able to down a Quadruple Bypass Burger to their car in a wheelchair.

 

13)        Diners find themselves surrounded by posters that glorify obesity.

 

14)        An oversized pill bottle dangles above the bar where the “doctor” mixes drinks and pours beer.

 

15)     Their biggest, the octuple bypass burger, has 19,900 calories (almost 10 days calorie requirement for an average man) and contains nearly four pounds of fat -filled meat.

 

16)        Full bottles of wine are served in IV bags, 3.4-ounce shots in pill bottles, and Jello shots in syringes.

 

17)     Two people considered to be spokespeople of the restaurant died due to obesity-related conditions. The first, Blair River, died at the age of 29 in 2011 after a bout with the flu that had become fatal due to his obesity. River is still pictured in many of the restaurant’s advertisements and décor.

 

18)      A second spokesperson, John Alleman died at 52 in 2013 after suffering a heart attack on the premises itself. He ate at the restaurant every day,

 

19)        The ashes of John Alleman and his ashes sit atop the bar, on display.

20)      I am speech less. People are craving for experiences that is out of the world and they are ready to do anything to have that experience including risking their own life whether it is eating at Heart Attack grill or trying out a dish of FUGU fish (a dish that is so dangerous that, one has to sign a document of release before sampling it). Every year more than 100 people die eating the deadly Fugu fish!

Looking at things differently - LENOVO - We got your Back!

I always advocate lateral thinking, out of box thinking, and being a devil's advocate (thinking differently). 

"We got your back" sounds nice, but isn't showing one's back means retreating or being a coward (Peet batana!). 

And showing one's back is being disrespectful. 

What say LENOVO!.
 

Lies, Damn lies and Statistics, misleading surveys!

What sort of a survey is this? Who sanctioned it? National Family Health survey asks a question, "in your opinion is a husband justified in hitting or beating a wife?". 

In research we call this sort of question as a loaded question. It almost legitimises the action. 

What is the sample, what is the sample size, who are the respondents. Can the results be generalized? . 

And the results are published and given publicity. And 84% men and 70% men from Telangana answered in affirmative. Wife beating is justified! We get the surveys we deserve.

"Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."

DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER, THIS QUOTE IS BY MARK TWAIN! 

- Autobiographical dictation April 1904. "Notes on 'Innocents Abroad.'" Published in Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1 (University of California Press, 2010).

The Cloak and Dagger world of OTT platforms!

 

Picture Credit https://pixabay.com/photos/secret-top-stamp-spy-army-3037639/

 

Covid-19 pandemic has triggered the OTT wave in India. What was a trickle, turned into a flood and later into a raging tornado. The OTT penetration which was first thought of and dismissed as an urban city phenomenon took the country by storm. 

OTT has become all-encompassing and threatens the very existence of a deep-rooted film distribution and viewing industry that includes the omnipresent cinema halls or theatres. Many theatres are shutting down and especially single screens will soon be like the Indian tiger, a fast-disappearing species unless special protection status is accorded!

The OTT platforms boost a surfeit of content. The major OTT platforms like NETFLIX, AMAZON PRIME, Disney Hotstar, Sony LIV, ZEE 5, AHA, and many others have so much content that it is mind-boggling and even mind numbing. The content is so much that no viewer can watch even 10% of it, even if he/she were to watch it for the entire day.

Apart from the surfeit of content, no one knows exactly how the OTT platforms operate. Figures of hundreds of crores of rupees are thrown about for getting a movie onboard but no one knows for sure.

There are whispers that most movies are on the platform on a free basis and that the moviemakers are paid according to the number of views just like KDP (Kindle Direct Publish) where the authors get paid according to the number of page reads!

Unlike the movies that are released in theatres, aired by satellite channels, or through YouTube no one knows exactly how many have actually viewed a movie. The only indicator is the IMDB ratings that a movie generates. And with the huge Indian population, IMDB rating can be skewed and can be boosted by encouraging the viewers to give higher ratings. And ratings are not a good indicator as many do not rate a movie and non-raters might even be a majority. Generally, ratings are given by viewers who either have loved the movie or have hated it. The fence-sitters are not really bothered!

The OTT platforms even though driven by technology are loathe to share numbers. I suspect that they do not want to admit that they carry Duds (movies with hardly any viewership). So, the entire viewership issue is swept under the carpet.

It must be disconcerting for the producers, directors, actors, and technicians not to know the exact viewership details of the movie in which they have invested so much money, time, and energy. At least YouTube is transparent and anyone can know the viewership details with a mouse click.

Analytical sites like Social Blade furnish jaw-dropping statistics about videos uploaded on YouTube but are totally silent on content hosted on OTT as there is no data shared in the public domain.

The OTT annual charges are ridiculously low. Maybe the OTT platforms are treating the first few years' subscription charges as invitation pricing. Invitation pricing is a low price that would hook the viewers and once the viewers are hooked and addicted the prices can be jacked up. Time to open up and share information, OTT platforms!!!

To be or not to be - That is the big question - Contentious Indian advertisements!

Advertisements are supposed to reflect the society and it is interesting to see that they are changing. first it was the Cadbury cricket ad of the nineties that was remade with a completely new gender bend. The hero turned heroine and the supportress turned the supporter. Cadbury cricket was a huge success and there was appreciation all around. 

But what Kwality Walls and Dabur did with their latest advertisement is quite contentious. The Kwality walls Advertisement shows a disapproving lady who is hostile to her new (may be gay/homosexual) neighbour couple. 

Her husband cajoles her to enter the neighbour’s house and viola Kwality Ice-cream melts the lady and her misconceptions about same sex couple living together. 

There is a definite deliberate awkwardness in the advertisement. It was a deliberate attempt to hint at something “THAT ÏS DIFFERENT”. So much so that even Asish Vidyarthi who plays the role of the disapproving lady’s husband remarked about the awkwardness in his social media post. The post is shared as a screen shot! 

The second advertisement that is stirring a storm in a tea cup is the Dabur ad. Dabur has shown two women (living together) fasting who see each other through a sieve! Dabur have shown Karva Chauth with a difference. Karva Chauth Is a festival of wives fasting and praying for the health of the husband and they see the moon through a sieve after a day’s hard fasting!  The advertisement has since been withdrawal by Dabur!

So far so good. As usual it is the Hindu customs/festivals that are taking a beating. Is it alright if Diwali and karva Chauth are used to display our liberal thinking? If the same was done with any other religion, would they be silent? Are the Hindus too silent and too accommodating? Just a thought process!

Hyderabad Metro's Suvarna Offer - 2021!

 

The art of observation has taught me many things. I got an SMS from HMRL and I was curious to know about the Suvarna offer. HMRL uses digital technology liberally and all smart cards are linked with the commuters’ mobile number.

Most regular commuters like me charge their cards with recharge worth excess of a thousand rupees. Earlier a loss of a smart card meant a loss of all the unused recharge amount. But now the minute a smart card is lost/stolen the commuter can immediately complain at the neatest metro station. Through an OTP driven authentication, the remaining value on the recharge of the lost/stolen will be transferred to a new card and HMRL will only charge Rs 50/- for the purchase of a new card.  

In a welcome move Hyderabad Metro Rail Limited introduced Suvarna offer on 18^th October 2021. Wanting to cash on the festival season, picking up of the passenger traffic, improved customer sentiment and increased footballs HMRL came out with two unique schemes under the Suvarna Offer. Under the first scheme regular commuters can opt for “pay for 20 trips and get 30 trips”.

In simple terms 20 trips for an individual  trip worth Rs 55/- can be bought for Rs 1100/- but for Rs 1100/- recharge the commuter gets 30 trips. Each trip cost comes down to Rs 37/- (33% discount).

This would mean a discount of Rs 550/- for 15 days and 1100/- for a month. This is very highly appreciable in time when energy costs are literally going through the roof. Allaying fears of a fare rise, HMRL has infact delivered a festival bonus to the commuters making metro fares equal to the cost of a bus travel.

But the catch is any travel irrespective of the distance would be considered as a trip. This would be a boon for regular travelers who travel between fixed station very day.  Regular travelers can utilize the get 30 trips for 20 offer by buying an additional card (for 50 rupees extra) and use it exclusively for their daily fixed office trips. The existing card can be used for unplanned trips.  

So, what does HMRL get from the scheme? It generates lots of good will which will/might lead to commuters commenting in the social media (like I am doing), posting about it and telling their friend, relatives and acquaintances.

The almost similar pricing of metro fares and bus fares might push the bus travelers to shift from bus travel to metro travel. The increasing petrol and diesel prices might make more personal vehicle users move to metro travel.

Regular travelers get a benefit of concessional travel. Finally, the biggest take could be a massive spurt in ridership due to cheaper fare could see increase in revenue through fares and this could lead to HMRL getting better revenues from its advertising, rental and other related income streams.

The only trick that HMRL is missing is a “travel as much as you can” card. Very popular in Delhi Metro, a travel as much as you want is a daily card that can be purchased for Rs 200/-. Commuters especially tourist would prefer a daily fixed fare card and this could mean brisk business on Saturdays, Sundays and on all public holidays. HMRL should definitely look into introducing a travel as much as you can card with a day’s validity.

Under the second scheme travelers in the green line can travel anywhere from M.G. bus stand to Jubilee Bus Stand for fares ranging from Rs 10 to 15/-. Suvarna offers’ validity is from October 18^th October, 2021 to 15^th January, 2022!

Memoirs of a Metro Man (Not E. Sreedharan’s)

 

These are the memoirs of another man, me who qualifies as a common Man in a Metro. Right from its inception in 2017, I have been a great fan of the Hyderabad Metro service. I am proud to say that I frequently use Hyderabad Metro and am fascinated by its convenience, speed, connectivity, and lack of frequent traffic jams that are quite prevalent in the other, modes of public transport.

Metro is convenient for me as we stay close to Miyapur station, one of the terminal points. This ensures that I always get a place to sit when I start my journey. My return journey station, Moosaram Bagh too is very close to the other terminus, LB Nagar and I am ensured comfortable seating on both sides of the journey. My wife jokes “you move from a drawing-room (house) to an Air-conditioned Office (My workplace) courtesy, Hyderabad Metro”.

I call myself an MMTS traveler using a Multi-Modal Transport System (MMTS). Metro train, Bus, Auto, Cab, Car, walking are all means of traveling for me. The following are some of my observations about Metro Travelers.

1) “Eating and drinking are banned in Hyderabad Metro”. This might surprise many travelers but it is true. Unlike a regular railway system where eating and drinking non-alcoholic beverages is permitted, eating and drinking are not permitted in Metro trains. Most don’t drink or eat, but in few cases, it has been noticed that people munch on snacks (Kurkure, Chips, Frankie’s, Samosas and drink water (permissible), and in some cases I have seen travelers drinking Coke/Pepsi. But it is undeniable that most people don’t eat or drink as the journeys tend to be short, maximum 10 or 15 minutes.

2)  According to the Hyderabad Metro Website, taking photos is also banned. But this too like eating and drinking this is never enforced. There are no signboards about prohibiting eating, drinking, and taking snaps and selfies. Commuters can’t be blamed for indulging in these activities as most might not even be aware that these activities are banned.

3)  Most commuters don’t believe in queuing up while entering the train or when they are disembarking. It’s a free for all and even at terminal stations there is pell-mell and people simply rush in like stampeded cattle!

4)  No respect for women, people with special needs, or senior citizens. Except for the reserved ladies section where only women sit, all other seating area is occupied by young men and women who give scant notice to others with special needs. Even in places reserved for the senior citizens have to ask for people to vacate the seats. No one voluntarily gets up and offers a seat. The other day, a senior citizen demanded a seat. The man sitting had an interesting reason not to get up. He said, “Ask those youngsters (pointing to some teenagers) to get up. I am older than them”. This defeats the entire purpose of reserving the seats. The seats are meant for senior citizens and people sitting have to vacate without putting any preconditions!

5)  During the four years of my travel in Hyderabad Metro, I have some interesting insights. No one reads printed matter of any sort! Apart from me (I read novels and magazines), Once I saw a young girl reading a novel and on another occasion, I saw a young man reading a newspaper. That is all! 99% of the travelers are joined to their umbilical cord, the omnipresent cellphone. Most people listen to music (loudly), talk incessantly (again loudly), see videos (movies, serials, comedy shows) at high decibel levels. It is a cacophony of sounds. Very few people use headphones or earphones. I am told that in Japan there is pin-drop silence in metros and most if any all travelers use headphones and earphones and text instead of talking to avoid disturbing others.

6)  Commuters' backpacks are a big nuisance. The unwieldy backpacks often swing in all directions and hit other standing travelers or brush the faces of the seated travelers. I often think of the pack backers as being pregnant on the wrong side. Most of the backpacks look like full-term pregnancies. It looks as if the baby inside would pop out at any time. Hyderabad metro should use its train audio system to advise commuters to put their back backs on the floor and not take up additional space and assault the others.

7) Women tend to converge both at the first and the last cars (compartments). The last car had a women-only section which now allows all passengers but women still prefer the first and the last cars.

8) Staircases are not very popular and only around 5% of travelers use the staircases. Most use the escalators and the lifts. Lifts are meant elderly and travelers with special needs but most ignore the instructions posted at the lift entrance.

9)  No respect for personal space. Due to Covid, Hyderabad Metro has made it mandatory that travelers sit only on alternate seats. But this is not enforced and all seats are occupied. The travelers in the allowed seating make seating difficult in the restricted seats by spreading their thighs and making sitting unconvertable. But alas, the hardy Hyderabadi Metro travelers squeeze themselves and slowly but surely make the unwilling next eat person sit properly (with thighs close together).

10)   In spite of repeated requests by the Hyderabad Metro personnel there is too much crowding at the front part of the train. The metro personnel plead and request the commuters to move back but to no avail. There is a tendency to get into the train from the front part and then move back. Common sense says that the last compartment is least preferred. It is less crowded and there are more chances of getting seating space.

"Afghanistan - Unknown Facts" - Talk on Suman TV (02-09-2021)

 "Afghanistan - Unknown Facts" - Talk on Suman TV (02-09-2021)  

"Afghanistan - Enormous Mineral Deposits" - Talk on Suman TV (02-09-2021)

 

Part 1 - A and B of the Series on A to Z for a Successful Career" - Talk on Suman TV (01-09-2021)

 Part 1 - A and B of the Series on A to Z  for a Successful Career" - Talk on Suman TV (01-09-2021)

Drop in interest rates who loses and who benefits - TV talk by Dr. M. Anil Ramesh on Suman TV - 31-08-2021

 Drop in interest rates who loses and who benefits  - TV talk by Dr. M. Anil Ramesh on Suman TV - 31-08-2021

Electric Bikes - TV talk by Dr. M. Anil Ramesh on Suman TV - 30-08-2021

 Electric Bikes - TV talk by Dr. M. Anil Ramesh on Suman TV - 30-08-2021

My TV Talk about Online Frauds - Suman TV 27-08-2021

 

"Friends, Indians, Countrymen, lend us your Voice" Innovative e-Mail Campaign by Ola Scooters India!

"Any Publicity is good publicity including bad Publicity". Often used in Marketing, Publicity and awareness is the bloodline for any product/company. “Hate me or love me but don’t ignore me” is the Clarion call of modern marketers. 

Getting customer eyeballs is becoming exorbitant with the fragmented media and falling customer attention spans. Attentions spans are down to 8 seconds! It has become increasingly difficult to get into the customer's mind!

One product that got lot of free publicity, media coverage and enormous goodwill and built up curiosity among the general public was the “Nano” the world’s cheapest car, touted at a price of Rs 1,00,000/- rupees. 

The breakthrough rock-bottom pricing caught the world media attention and reams and reams worth of articles were written in newspaper and many Zillion gigabytes worth of TV shows and reviews were telecast about “The Nano”, All free!

After many years another product category that has caught the imagination of the Indian Public is the e-Scooter range on offer from Ola. 

The same type of hype is being built up and consumers are hungry to hear, see and learn about the new revolutionary scooter that promises to change the way we commute, especially on two wheelers in India.

Ola is cashing in on the hype. Today Ola has sent e-mailers to all its customers (existing Ola users). The first slide of the advertisement says “Friends, Indians, Countrymen” and the second slide says “Lend us your voice”. Does it ring a bell? 

Yes, it does, the words are from Mark Anthony’s speech when he pleads with the Romans to rise up against the murderers of Julius Caesar. Mark Anthony says “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears”.

Coming back to the Ola e-Mail, written below the second slide is the request, “The in-built AI-powered Voice Assistant on the revolutionary Ola S1 frees you from having to manually input instructions on the scooter's interface. 

To bolster this capability, we're collecting voice samples - across age groups, genders, accents, and even pitches. We would like a sample of your voice to make our scooter smarter. Thank you, and welcome to the revolution, for good”.

Wonderful way to engage and keep connected with the present and prospective customers. Valuable lesson to all marketers as to how to stay active in customer’s mind! As they say out of sight, out of mind! 

Yamma Soda Point - Commonsense is not Common!

 First published on Facebook on 29th March 2021

Sometimes nothing can beat real life. Found a "Yamma Soda Point". For the uninitiated Yama is the god of death and Yamma sounds like a Telugu curse word. So what is the mystery?

Comments: 

Vijay Arjun Veeravalli: It is "Yummy" I think 🤔

Anil Ramesh: Good guess!

Surendranath Uma: Wife name may be jayamma .....

Anil Ramesh: You got it Umakka, you are the second, Dr. Kota was the first to get it correct.

Kn Srinath: Anil Ramesh Its something akin to my childhood story where one listener of radio says that he heard a news "కప్ప పాము ని చంపేను"... whereas original news is వెంకప్ప పాముని చంపెను.

Hareesh Rebelli: Maybe an image of 1 person and text that says 'MBA CHAIN MBA CHAI WALA India's Most Iconic Chai Wala Franchise Outlet'

 Anil Ramesh: Why not MBAs should be ready for anything. Dignity of Labour!

 Anil Ramesh: Like the hero in the book "Starbucks saved my life" says 'If one is asked to be the restroom cleaner, prove to be the best restroom cleaner of the world'

Bhagyalakshmi Bhagya: abba Uma entha correct ga guess chesindi

Common Sense is not Common - 15 minutes of Fame - Krispycreme Vs AtilisGym!

First published on Facebook on 26th March 2021

When Krispykreme started giving free donuts for getting CoVid vaccination shots, AtilisGym is giving away free membership for all who don't get the vaccination. The reason "they believe in health - the real way - exercise, good diet, plenty of vitamin D, and an environment to de-stress".

While the intention is appreciable, the path is questionable. Encouraging people not to take vaccination is downright outrageous especially in a country where 3.5 crore people are infected and 5.65 lakh people have died due to the pandemic. 

This reminds me of the concept  "15 minutes of fame which is short-lived media publicity or celebrity or an individual or phenomenon". 

The expression was inspired by Andy Warhol's words "In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes"